Friday, March 25, 2011

Getting to know you...getting to know all about you

Mornings are not my favorite time of day...never have been. Just ask my poor mother.  So I am getting a big ol' honkin' dose of my own medicine with my little bundle of joy.  Sayler is the queen of the morning stink eye.  She gets out of bed pretty sweet...but it is all down hill from there.  If she sees me coming with her clothes and diaper she maintains a perimeter of at least 6 feet so I can't reach out and grab her to get her little booty dressed. She kills me this one.

One morning a few weeks ago I had finally captured her long enough to get her changed and dressed and she was tooling around the house doing her morning rounds.  Pull all Tupperware out of the drawer. Check. Pull all clean folded laundry out of the laundry basket that has been sitting on our bedroom floor for 2 weeks waiting for Daddy to put it away. Check. Find Goldfish Cracker remnant on the kitchen floor and promptly shoves it in her mouth. Check.  SO this particular morning she was in monitoring her Dad's shower when I hear him yell "BABE COME HERE!!!"

I felt my heart jump into my throat and ran into our bathroom.  I thought Say had slipped on the tile and split her head open or knocked her teeth out. So I run into the bathroom and Sayler is standing there perfectly fine.  I looked at Channing and he is standing there dripping wet and he looks like he has just seen a ghost.  The following conversation follows:

Me:  "What?  What happened? Is Say OK?"

Channing:  "Ummmm....she's fine. I'm not."

Me:  "What?  What's wrong?"

Channing:  "I was drying off and had the towel over my face and your daughter..."

Me:  "What????"

Channing:  "She....she flicked my junk!"

Me:  "Oh my God what?  What does she flicked my junk mean...specifically."

Channing:  "I was drying my face and she just walked right up to me and flicked my junk and says "Bell Butt???" (she is obsessed with people's belly buttons right now and demands to see them upon command) And then.  And then... she started laughing!!!"

Me:  "(Dying laughing) I have no words.  Let's just act like this never happened.  Denial is our friend right now OK?"

Channing:  "(Not dying laughing) Perfect.  I'm totally on board with that.  Except for the fact that I am totally scarred for life."

What can I say?  We put the "fun" back in dysfunctional.

I think I'll leave this story out of the baby book.


Surrogate, Single Parent and Dating... said...

I literally laughed out loud w/ almost tears....that sh*t is hilarious!!!! hahahhaha I'm still laughing!

Andrea said...

I can not handle this on any level. This is literally one of the funniest stories of all time.