Sayler is 3!!!

Sayler Jaye Doss...today you woke up and you were 3 years old!!!

  I'm not sure how that happened as just yesterday you were this little nugget...

I am very emotional about you turning 3...tears are streaming down my face as I type these words. I'm not sure why it feels different this year...but it most surely does.  Maybe it is because 3 seems like you are no longer my baby, but rather my big girl. Maybe it is because I feel like it is all going so fast and just speeding up with each day and I want it to SLOW.DOWN for just a moment so I can catch my breath. Maybe it is because I am just so filled with pride to be your Mommy and it is just overflowing as I look back on this most precious of years we have shared with you.

Last night I tucked you in to bed and we snuggled for a long time and sang many more songs than we normally do.  I felt you all warm and sweet and soft pressed up against me as I rubbed your little back and I could have stayed in that moment for an eternity.  I kept taking deep breaths and closed my eyes tight trying to create an impression of that moment to burn into my memory forever. You and me snuggled up next to one another without an inch between us just as we were 3 years earlier on the eve of your birthday.

You have had your biggest year to date me sweet girl.  So many changes and milestones that I can hardly believe it has only been 1 year. You have gone from a chubby cheeked toddler to a long legged preschooler and I just adore the little girl you are becoming.

Here are a few highlights of your 3rd year and I hope someday you look back on these precious memories and cherish them as much as I do!

You are my little baker!!!  You LOVE to help Mommy bake cupcakes, cookies and brownies!  You can be heard telling your Daddy, "Me and Mommy are bakers...not fakers Daddy!!!"  I love passing on my love for baking to you and can't wait for the holiday baking to begin with my little assistant by my side.

You are my silly billy for sure!!! This year your sense of humor has developed so much and your Daddy and I are always saying, "That girl is FUNNY!  Like for real...funny!"  You make us belly laugh (sometimes even when you aren't trying to be funny) and we get the most joy life can bring when we hear you throw your head back and just laugh and squeal with delight.  Best.sound.ever.

So the biggest event this year has been you becoming a Big Sister to Maesyn!  From the minute we brought your Mae Mae home from the hospital you have loved her, worried about her, kissed her, scolded her, laughed at her and made her laugh like no one else can.  No one can make Mae smile like her sister can.  She is in love with you and I can't wait to see you grow together and become best friends. Mommy doesn't have a sister and I have always wanted to experience that sisterly bond. Now I get to through my sweet sister girls!  Here are a few pictures of the Doss sister's that just melt my heart:

(For the record I am full out ugly crying at this point in the blog writing process...seriously how I will make it through Kindergarten drop off without Xanax is beyond me!!!).

You just continued to have new experiences and stretch yourself over and over again this year and I can't express my pride in seeing you venture out of your comfort zone and grow into a more confident, self assured, outgoing little girl.  Here are some of the big things you have been doing this year:

Riding your brand new tricycle for the first time with Nana

 First Mommy and Me Swimming lessons

 First gymnastics class

Don't have a picture of this event...but you were fully potty trained in like a hot minute!!!  Seriously, we started potty training on  Friday morning you had one accident and from that point forward you have been going potty without fail!  In the 7 months you have been diaper free I think you may have had 6 or 7 accidents total. You were a ROCKSTAR pottier!!! Can you teach your sister? ;)...no,seriously.

First (and last :) ) dance class...we're going to try again this Summer to see if you are more ready.

First play date with your BFF Marley

Gulp...no more crib. Big girl bed for this 3 year old!

We haven't had your 3 year appointment yet, so I don't have your official stats but I do know that you weigh 32 lbs. and are around 37-38 inches tall.  You are tall and skinny...we're not sure how that happened but I sure wish you would pass some of that over my way!

You are the queen of dropping one liners that make my sides hurt from laughing so hard.  Here are a few of the things you have said that are hilarious:

• You walked into the bathroom after Daddy had "spent some personal time" in there. You came running out and say, "I can't go back in there. I gotta take care of myself!!!"
• You saw one of those ceramic churches that people put out at Christmas as a decoration. It had a steeple and was all lit up and you said, "Mama look!!! It's Santa's castle!!!"
• You are obsessed with Disney Princess movies right now. OB-SESSED!!! Namely Cinderella. You are very focused on the Stepmother and stepsisters as you cannot believe that they are so mean. You said to me a few months ago, "Mama...why da Sep-mudder and Sep-sissers wanna go to da bawl?" I replied, "Well babe...because they wanted the Prince to dance with them." You looked at me in complete shock and said, "Oh NO!!! If you talk naughty...nobody gonna wanna dance wit you!!! Right Mama?" 
• One night a few months ago you marched over to me, hands on hips and said, "Mama...Daddy is ruining my life!!!" I wasn't expecting this revelation until at least 2022!!!
• You came in while I was rocking your sister to sleep one night and said the following, "Mama. I have to tell you something. I didn't do anything."Ha!
• "Mama...Daddy be cray cray!"
• So you always tries to find something very important to tell me as I am getting ready to leave you at daycare and one day you left me with this: "Mama....ummmm don't let Daddy in the house today OK? Make sure you "wok" all the doors and be careful so Daddy can't get in OK Mama?"
• "Mommy...you need to take that shirt off. That shirt is weird." 
• You and I ran a few errands and while browsing I picked up something and looked at an outrageous price tag. I said, "these people are crazy!!!" We then went to checkout and there were 3 older women in front of us speaking to one another in Russian. You turned to me and says (loud), "Mama...dees peopow are cwazy!!!"
• "Mommy...I need to go potty training!" 
• "Mama...me, you and Mae are the winners. But not Daddy. Daddy's not the winner."
• "Mama you and Mae Mae have orange legs. Me and mine Daddy have brown legs."

(Still crying)...

Sayler Jaye Doss... you and I have been together since March 3rd of 2009 . That is 1357 days. The first 261 days were spent growing inside me...the rest were spent growing beside me.  I can never express to you the miracle that these 1357 days have been.  You will never understand until you have your own children.  You are the best thing I have ever done...and the depths of my love for you...my first born...my sweet Say Say can never be adequately expressed. 

Until your Daddy placed you in my arms 3 years ago today I never fully comprehended the emotion of the following poem written by E.E. Cummings...now I do...all because of you:

I carry your heart with me

I carry it in my heart

I am never without it

anywhere I go you go, my dear;

and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling

I fear no fate

for you are my fate, my sweet

I want no world

for beautiful you are my world, my true

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

here is the root of the root

and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;

which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart

I carry it in my heart

You are my game changer sweet baby girl of mine...can't wait to spend the next 1,357 days with you. And the 1,357 after that, and the 1,357 after that.............................

I love you to the moon and back.  

Happy 3rd Birthday

Love,

Your Mama