Monday, January 3, 2011

The Middle

Happy New Year Sweet Things!!!  I feel like I should apologize for not blogging in an age...but then I had to ask who I would be apologizing to as it is my blog and I highly doubt there are people that have been refreshing for months on end to see if I have graced this blog with my pearls of wisdom or another milestone update about my kid (if you have...stop it now and go get some kind of life).

But I think I need to give myself a break.  I have begun to dread blogging because I put this stupid pressure on myself to always live up to what other people think of me. I have created about 100 new posts...only to delete them because they were boring, or not funny enough, or who cares about you or what you are doing Steph?  So, I refuse to give in to that negative Nancy voice who has lived in my head as a permanent squatter since like 1985 so I am just going to write what I want, how I want, and if the 3 of you that read this blog get bored I totally understand and give you permission to click the X in the top right corner ;)

2011 is shaping up to be a big year for this gal.  I's only 3 days in, but let me tell you I am en fuego right now.  I have 2 major things in the works right now and I will share them when it is appropriate to do so (no I am not pregnant...not even a little bit) but I am so excited about what I hope this year will bring both personally and professionally.

*I'm interrupting here to ask if anyone reading this watched the Bachelor premiere?  Fangs got a rose?  Really?  I miss Trista and Ryan.  If you don't watch it I get it but you may want to reconsider for this season as one of the girls apparently took Twilight a little to seriously.

So back to 2011...big things friends.  Big things.  

But 2011 is going to have some tough spots too.  I am going to have to close the door on a friendship that I have had for many, many years. How's that for getting to the point?  Have you ever had to do that?  Not after a fight, or some big drama fest, but after a sustained period of time where you come to realize that this person is not a good friend.  They just aren' matter how many excuses you try to make for them.  It's sad when it happens and I am sad that this has happened more than once in my adult life. But I just asked myself the other day what I'm getting out of this friendship that has basically been non-existent for over a year now? Nothing but sadness and anger and frustration. And you know what?  Maybe they feel the same way about me.  Maybe I have not been meeting their needs as a friend either.  As cliche as it sounds...maybe we really did just grow apart.  Makes me sad.  But there is a line I like to remind myself of that rings true over and over again in my life, "Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning.  Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will..."
Name that movie favorite, Hope Floats.  What you expected Schindler's List?  Nah...I'll get my life lessons from Birdee Pruitt thank you very much.

So I guess I will be sad at then end but be so forever grateful for the middle.  It really was a spectacular middle.  Blessed to have had that you know?

OK, thanks for sticking with me...all 3 of you.



Surrogate, Single Parent and Dating... said...

First and foremost...fang girl..I mean really? She was scary...I was waiting for the min she took them out...lmao... second I love ur blog...they make me laugh and cry sometimes so ill b a fan thru and and lastly..I've had many of those friendships and it is hard but just b thankful for the true friends that will b around forever!

DANIELLE said...

Ok...I for one love your blog and you make me laugh every time I read it...and sorry about closing the chapter of a friendship, your right the middle is all that really counts!!!