The Worst Thing Is Never The Last Thing

A sweet friend of mine had a Facebook status today that stopped me in my tracks..."The worst thing is never the last thing."  I think that's right. Such a complex mess of emotions I have had as we have embarked on this anniversary of 9.11.01.  At first I rebelled against this huge production everyone was making out of this arbitrary number...10.  Why is 10 more significant than 3 or 8 or 6 and 1/2?  Isn't the pain the same?  Isn't the loss just as great?  Don't our wounds still need to heal?  I'm not sure why 10 is different...but I must admit, it is.


I remember exactly where I was physically 10 years ago today. I also remember where I was emotionally.  I was going through a very difficult time personally and was staying with my 2nd family the Johnson's while I tried to piece my life back together.  I woke up that morning and started to get ready for class.  I was staying in their guest room in the basement and I had the whole basement to myself.  I sat down on a futon they had in the living room and turned on the Today show while I put on my makeup.  I immediately saw the World Trade center and it was on fire...the caption on the screen said a plane had hit one of the towers.  My mind immediately assumed a small 2 seater plane had crashed into the building.  Sad I thought.  Random too.  When have you ever heard of a plane crashing into a building? Especially in the middle of Manhattan.


Then I watched the 2nd plane hit tower 2.


"That plane sped up." I thought.  "It was trying to hit that tower.  Oh my God. What just happened?"


We all know what happened next. The towers fell to the earth like a house of cards.  The Pentagon.  The field in Pennsylvania.  The news.  The grieving widows. The heartbreak.  The motherless children. The worst thing.


I remember watching my dearest friend Steph Johnson trying to explain to her girls who were 5 and 6 at the time what had happened.  How do you explain the worst thing to a child?  After that conversation I remember walking up to her room and finding her in her closet.  We just grabbed each other and sobbed and held on.


I can remember what an amazingly beautiful September day it was that day.  I walked on campus at the University of Nebraska that day and I remember looking up at the bluest sky and realizing that for the first time in my entire life...I did not feel safe. In my own backyard...I was scared.  I changed that day 10 years ago.  Everything did.


10 years. Doesn't really seem like a long time when you think about it in the grand scheme of things.  It's not like 50 years or a hundred years.  I mean most marriages don't last 10 years these days.  And when I think about that day...that Tuesday morning 10 years ago it seems like it was just moments ago.  Weeks, months at the most.  But then I think about the life that I have lived in those 10 years. It's my whole life.  I got divorced, went to law school, graduated, passed the bar, struggled, overcame, traveled, fell in love, got married, started a career, had my first child, bought my first house, opened a law practice, and am expecting baby number 2. 10 years. In the aftermath of the worst thing you just have to hold on because you must know...it's not the last thing.  10 years can change everything.


And it has hasn't it?


This...




Is now this...







This...



Is now this.

This...

Now looks like this.



He's gone



And he's gone.



But so are they...

I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this.  Not really sure how I feel today.  I'm still shocked when I see that plane hit tower 2.  I still say to myself, "That plane sped up." Unimaginable to me...even today 10 years later.  But I also feel such pride stemming from what I saw that day.  I have never been more proud to be an American than I did that day.  Because even on the worst day...


We did this...



They ran in when everyone else was running  out...





Our streets looked like this...



And we did this with no questions asked.



And that's what I choose to remember from this day.  That beautiful, sunny, perfect Tuesday 10 years ago when we experienced the worst thing...I remember that it was not the last thing.


Because no matter what the intent...what was meant for evil, God will use for good.


Love wins. Every time.





God Bless America.