Monday, February 16, 2009

Wieldin' That Sword

I'm not a sit and wait around for stuff to happen kind of gal...I'm of the make it happen school of thought. So struggling to get pregnant has not been the easiest of pills to swallow. Waiting patiently on the Lord has me ready to pull my hair out (of which I found 2 gray hairs yesterday!!! I had Channing picking through my head like a mama monkey checking her baby for nitz looking for those pesky grays...when did I wake up old???) I digress...

So bottom line is I am used to getting results when I put my mind to something. Patience is a virtue...but I tend to not be to virtuous when it comes to getting my baby!!! But I know the following to be true:

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

So today dons a new day...a courageous day, a day filled with hope, and discouragement has no room in my heart. I know God walks beside me, and that he knows the desires of my heart. I know that He would not give me the desire to be a mother...if He were not going to bless me with the opportunity. I just don't know what it looks like from here...and that's OK. Scary but OK.

So I am wielding that sword (I actually typed "yielding that sword" in the title first...God's got a project ahead of Him with me :)). I am taking charge of the things God has designated for me...and leaving the rest... at rest at His feet. I love Him...and am falling ever deeper in love with Him each and every day. The way He has provided for Channing and I over the last year brings tears to my eyes...He gives and He takes away. But He never leaves me, He never abandons me, He walks with me through the peaks and the valleys. Isn't God good?

Ok off to bug the Dr.'s to get an appointment for some blood work...check my FSH and estradiol please ma'am!!! I have no idea what that means, but I know I need it...the internet is a beautiful tool :)

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