You Say It's Your Birthday!?!?

Sayler Jayler...YOU.ARE.1!!!! What a year it has been my sweet pea.  You are turning into such a big girl and entertain your Daddy and I every minute of the day.  You had a big birthday party and Mommy will post an entire blog on it and the fun day we had celebrating YOU!!!

November 19, 2009

November 19, 2010

Baby Girl...you have some serious sassafrass...and I love it!!!  You are such an independent, curious, sweet, smart little girl and being your Mom is the best thing I have ever done in my life.  Here are a few things you have been up to this month:

• Well the number one milestone on the list is you are officially a full time walker.  You had been taking a few steps here and there, walking from one piece of furniture to the next, but to get anywhere you would always settle on crawling.  I don't know what happened on November 9th...but you made the decision that day that you were going to walk...EVERYWHERE!!!  Now even when you fall down you will not crawl. You pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get right back up and take off again.
• You have added several words to your vocabulary you are saying:
• Mama
• Dada
• Nana
• Papa
• Thank you (dat doo)
• This (dis, dis, dis, dis...you say it over and over again and point at things hoping we will give you something...anything.  Most recently...M&M's :)
• Hot (signing too)
• More (signing too)
• Nice
• You are still a very good eater and love your fruit.  You will eat most anything we put in front of you.  You still take a bottle but we will wean you off of it and transition you yo whole milk after the holidays. You drink water from a sippy cup all the time so I am not too worried about the change.
• You have started holding a baby doll and rocking them back and forth and singing the "Baby Signing Time" song. It is the sweetest thing in the world.
• You love to wander aroung the house and get into your favorite places.  You are WAY into the pantry and Mommy and Daddy's shower.  You climb in and out of the shower over and over again and pull our sponges down off of the faucet.  You get so excited and run around in the shower shouting (you like to hear your voice echo).
• You are OBSESSED with babies...OBSESSED!!!  There are two 7 month old babies at daycare and you love to go up to them and stroke their little heads and say "niiiiccccceeee" or "ah dah dah dah dah."  Whenever you see someone you think is a baby (even if they are older than you...ha!) you squeal with delight and make a b-line over to them to to give them some love.
• You love to dance and whenever you hear the Apple iPad commercial, or the Samsung commercial with the song "Hey ey, hey ey ey ey, hey ey ey ey...tonight." You run to the ottoman and hold onto put your hands on it and bounce your little booty up and down to the beat.  Sometimes Daddy and I will start singing, "go Sayler, go Sayler, go Sayler, go Sayler...go. go. go. go. go. go. go!!!"  And you smile and start doing your little dance.  It is ADORABLE!!!
• You have totally regressed when it comes to your sleeping...but I still think you are a fabulous sleeper.  You go to bed awake and I give you your blankies ("beeks" of which you say "dzzzzz, dzzzz, dzzzz, dzzzz" when you want them) tell you I love you and walk out the door.  You don't even make a peep and fall asleep all by yourself. You do usually wake up once in the night and scream at the top of your lungs until your Dad or I come and rescue you.  But start to finish it is about 20 minutes until you are back asleep and you sleep until about 7:45 every morning. So I am just going to relax about it and know that you will eventually sleep through the night. I actually like snuggling with you in the middle of the night for a little while longer.

You have grown and changed so much in your first year.  You are such a sweet, smart, curious, serious, intense, silly, sassy little girl and I am so proud to be your Mommy.  I say to you every night, "How did Mommy get so lucky that God gave me the best baby He ever created?"  And I truly feel like I won the lottery with you my love.

Can't wait to see what year number 2 has in store for you little Miss!!!

Love you to the moon and back,

Mommy

Upside Down

"Ms. Doss? This is Denise from the doctor's office.  I am calling to inform you that your blood work came back and is perfect. However..., the Dr. wanted me to let you know that while examining your chest x-ray he saw a mass in your chest near your heart and he wants you to have a CT scan right away to make sure it isn't anything serious."

And that was my Tuesday afternoon.  How's your week been?

I'll spare you the build up and let you know that I did have a CT scan Wednesday morning and the nurse called this afternoon letting me know that the "mass" was a fatty pad and was very normal and nothing to worry about. Exhale...

***New rule...the word "mass" should be outlawed in all conversations involving medical test results. I suggest interesting blob. Or, a little polka dot...but not mass.  Never mass.

So, needless to say, from the word "however..." until about 3:00pm this afternoon my world has been turned upside down.

I was scared.  To my core...scared.  I was lying on the CT machine with an IV so they could inject me with this iodine solution as to be able to decipher the scan results more accurately and I was trembling.  I don't ever remember being scared like that as an adult.  It has humbled me...the fear.  It has caused me to evaluate some things.  It has motivated me to quit evaluating some things.  I rocked Sayler to sleep a little bit longer last night.  And checked my email a little bit less.  I promised myself that I would give this new professional direction I have been contemplating a real go at it, and I thought about how lucky I am and how much I take for granted.

Why are we like that?  Why does it take a health scare or a death close to home or the contemplation of a terminal disease to really make us stop and take inventory of our lives?  We shouldn't have to be taken to the edge of the cliff in order to focus on what really matters in life. But that's human nature isn't it?  We all live life as though it is our right to do so...and don't think twice about it.  Now and then we have something shake the foundation a bit and cause us to take a step back. But even then, after a while, the fear subsides and we ease back into that comfortable, immortal state of mind.

I'm not sure how this first real health scare will effect the rest of my life.  I hope it shifts the direction a little bit.  I hope it propels me to do more things that aren't practical.  I hope it makes me not care so much about things that don't matter.  I hope that getting turned upside down for a bit will help me find the right direction for my life.  My real hope is that it changed me.  I'm lucky. I have some time to see how this whole thing pans out. I'm gonna try my darnedest not to waste it.

In other news not involving a "mass"...someone in the Doss family has been up to some new tricks.  Take a peek.



Sayler Steppin' Out from Stephanie Doss on Vimeo.

Ok...I'll admit...my baby talk is annoying.  But my baby...pretty darn sweet wouldn't you agree?

Love ya'll...

11 Months Old

11 months old!!!  It never ceases to amaze me how fast these months fly by.  In less than 1 month I will be the mother of a one year old!!!  And what a whirlwind it has been.  The best most exciting tornado of my life is an 11 month old little peanut named Sayler Jaye!!!

You have been so busy this month little miss.  Here are some things you have been up to:

• You weigh 22.6 pounds and wear 12 month old clothes.  You also wear both size 3 and 4 diapers.  We are almost out of your size 3's and then you will be in 4's full time.
• You are cruising everywhere and many times take your hands off of the furniture and stand independently.  You can transfer from one piece of furniture to another without going to the floor. But you just aren't quite ready to take that independent step.  Can I get a hallelujah???  I am not ready for you to walk yet for several different reasons...mostly that I want you to stay my baby for a little bit longer. Like say 30 or 40 years!
• You eat table food exclusively and love it all!!!  Any time Mommy or Daddy have any food in their hands you make a b-line over to us and start smacking your lips together.  It is hilarious!  You are a good eater and not picky so far.  You are still taking a bottle 3-4 times a day.
• You sleep through the night and are very in to our nightly routine.  You love playing and jumping on mommy and daddy's bed and flopping yourself onto all of our pillows.  You squeal with delight and are so proud of yourself while you jump all over and get wild!!!  We love it too...it is one of the best parts of my day lying with you on the bed and listening to you laugh.
• You are not a fan of the word "no."  You turn on the waterworks pretty fast when you are getting into something you shouldn't and mommy or daddy tells you no.  It lasts about 3 seconds and then you move on.  You seem to remember most of the time what the "no" things are and will look at mommy or daddy to check and see if it's still a "no."
• You do this thing when you are upset or irritated and it absolutely cracks me up.  You lay on your back and kick your legs out and blow your bottom lip out over and over again.  The funny thing about it is you really think you are giving us a piece of your mind.  I try not to laugh because I don't want you to think it is OK to throw these little fits...but it is so stinkin cute.
• You say "Hi" and wave to people all the time.  The problem is you usually do it once they are gone!  You love looking out the window and waving to all of the construction workers working outside on the church and houses being built.  You will also say "Dada or Da" when you hear or see Daddy.  Not so much with the Mama but I know it is coming someday soon.  You have been saying Nana a lot lately and I know Grandma will LOVE to hear that.  You also say "Thank You" but it sounds more like "dat doo."  I think you are going to be a little Miss Smarty Pants as you catch on to things so fast.
• You LOVE to be outside and cry when it is time to come in most days.  When we leave the door open to the deck so we can get some fresh air in the house you crawl out there like a mad woman and are just so proud of yourself sitting out there like a big girl.
• You're fascinated by all of the pumpkins and fall decorations we have on the front porch.  You love to just stand and pound on the pumpkins and pull the hay out of the hay bales.  You look up at me to see if it is OK and then just smile and laugh while you are exploring all of the cool stuff.
• You had a double ear infection 2 weeks ago and Mommy felt so bad that she didn't know sooner.  You are just such a happy baby even when you are sick.  The only reason I knew something might be up was because you were waking in the night and that is so unlike you.  I was almost certain it was not your ears because you were so happy otherwise.  I thought you were just going through some sleep regression.  But we went to the Dr. just to make sure and sure enough you had a double ear infection.  So much for Mommy's theory right?  They put you on a 10 day cycle of Omnicef and we went to have then rechecked today and they are clear and healthy!  YAY!
• You understand what Mommy and Daddy want when we ask you for kisses.  Sometimes you give them and sometimes you look at us like "quit begging!" You also kiss your reflection in the chrome hardware in the bathtub and it is the sweetest thing.  I always say, "Who's that baby?" and you will look at the reflection and give it a kiss.
• Daddy baby proofed all of the cupboards in the kitchen and you are not a fan.  You try and open them and when they won't open you get so mad.
• You love to crawl into the bathroom in the morning when Daddy is in the shower.  You don't quite understand why he is in there but you squeal and laugh the whole time.
• You are not intimidated by the older boys at daycare in the least.  Ms. Dana says that when she calls the boys over to sit at the big table you follow right behind them and squeeze in between the boys and elbow your way right up to the table. You are not missing out on anything.  You also are still snatching toys from the other baby girls...most recently a yellow block from Grace.  I was there to witness this snatch attack and you were promptly told no and the block was returned to Grace. You were not pleased and turned on the tears.  I called Daddy on my way to works and said, "I think we have the daycare bully!!!"  I know you have no idea that taking a toy from another child is wrong...but you are going to learn sooner rather than later!!!

You are the light of my life doll face and I smile so much by the end of the day my cheeks usually hurt!  Next month is your 1st  birthday and I seriously can't believe it!!!  Mommy loves you all the way to the moon and back little mama!!!

Mwah!!!

Love,

Mommy

I think the Trick in "Trick or Treat" has taken on a new meaning...

Really Halloween...really???  I have always been amazed at the lure that Halloween brings for closeted street walkers to come out!!!  "I'm here!!!  I'm slutty!!!  I'm a pumpkin!!!"  It leaves me baffled and mildly uncomfortable.  No matter how innocent something may be just add the word "naughty" in front of it and voila...instant slutty Halloween costume!!!  Should you lean in this "naughty" direction can I just make a suggestion that you please, for all that is good and holy, not choose any of the following costumes this time around:

Sexy Chucky

Wait what???  How on earth can you make Chucky sexy.  It is a mass murdering doll for criminy's sake.  Forgive me for not getting all hot and bothered!!!

Naughty Nun

Just trust me here...do you really want to test Jesus with this? Nuff said.

Sassy Big Bird

OK some things are just sacred and I am not going to allow you to whore out Big Bird.  I.WON'T.STAND.FOR.IT!!!

Sexy Spongebob

Sweetheart...you deserve to get punched in the face for this ensemble.  And maybe once in the stomach for good measure.

Sexy Miss Tater Tot

Stop it. There is NOTHING sexy about tater tots.  Exhibit A:

Naughty Nemo

This almost makes the slutty Chucky look tame.  So wrong in so many ways.

Hold the Cheese Please

I love my little Say Say...Lord knows I do.  But my girl is killing me when it comes time for a photo shoot.  She will not smile for a picture to save her pea pickin' life!!!  Let me take you through a few painful photo montages that illustrate her unwillingness to cooperate with her mama:

Photo montage #1:  Husker Game Day Photo Op Disaster

"Say-Say...can mama take your picture in your cute Husker outfit?  Smile for mama baby..."

 Thanks but no thanks Mom...I'll just give my thumb a little lovin' here for an extra minute or two.

 Well look at that...all 5 fingers, still here.

 Throw your hands up....hollllaaaaa!!!

 I'm pretty sure she is throwing up some kind of gang sign here.

 Avert your eyes from the crazy squealing lady with the camera...just pretend to be interested in your hand.

 A girl sure could use a snack or sumpin...

 Shoot.  There aren't even any left over food remnants from last night's dinner for me to nibble on.

 Hey lady...make yourself useful and get your girl a snack.

It's so hard to get good service at this joint.

Photo Montage #2:  10 month picture debacle

"OK baby girl...it's time to take your 10 month picture.  Can you sit here for a quick second and look at mama and smile?"

 Daddy...this chic is not serious about me sitting down is she?

 Uggghhhhh...ya'll are driving me crazy!!!

 I think I'll gnaw on my crib for a spell.

 Hmmm...I wonder what's for dinner?

 Will the paparazzi ever leave me alone???

You guys do whatever you want...

I'm over it.

10 Months Old

Oh Sayler my Sayler...you are 10 months old my tiny.  And you have totally come into your own.  You most certainly have your own personality and I must say I am totally smitten with you!!!  Here is what you have been up to this month:

• You are still in a size 3 diaper and wear 9 month and 12 month clothes.
• You sleep from 7pm to 7:30am every night.  You are a great sleeper for sure.  We took a trip to Little Rock last week and you didn't skip a beat even sleeping in your pack n' play at the hotel.  You slept the whole night and I was amazed.  When you wake up in the mornings you don't cry or yell for Mommy to get you at all  You just lay there and suck your thumb (your BFF) and wait for someone to come get you. Opening your bedroom door in the morning and seeing your HUGE smile when you see me is the best part of my day.
• You eat table food almost exclusively.  You love:
• carrots
• green beans
• mandarin oranges
• grilled chicken
• chicken nuggets
• toast
• grilled cheese
• puffs
• yogurt bites
• yogurt
• hot dogs
• waffles
• pancakes
• You drink water from a sippy cup and are doing great with it.  You will have no problem transitioning off of your bottle to a sippy cup.
• You are standing on your own for 3-5 seconds at a time.  You could stand longer, but once you realize you are standing on your own you sit right down.  I know you will be walking sooner rather than later.
• You can wave hi and bye, do arms up, clap when someone says yay, play peek-a-boo, give kisses when asked to, and blow kisses.
• You are starting to throw little tantrums when you don't get what you want or when Mommy or Daddy tells you no.  You will sit back on your buns and look at us and then do this fake cry to see if any one will pay attention to you or give in and let you do what you want.  We try our hardest not to laugh but it is hard.
• You smile and laugh all the time.  Whenever Mommy or Daddy walk into the room you give the biggest smile and it melts our hearts.
• You love to play on Mommy and Daddy's bed and jump and go crazy in all of the pillows.
• You are starting to get attached to your strawberry blankie.  We take it with you to Ms. Dana's for your nap time, and whenever you see it lying on the floor you go over to it and lay down on it and suck your thumb.  It is so sweet.
• You love playing with blocks and knocking them all down when Mommy stacks them up.  But you love nothing more than Mommy and Daddy's cell phones or computers.  You are on a mission to get to them whenever you see them.  Mommy usually gives in and lets you gnaw on her phone.  Daddy tries to take his case off and give that to you...but it doesn't usually work and he will give in and give up his phone too.  You kind of have us wrapped around your finger.
• You have discovered the baby in the mirror looking back at you and you give her kisses and smile at her.  It is so cute to see you so curious about your own reflection.
• We still can't get a decent picture of you to save our lives.  Every time the camera comes out...you get all serious and focused on what we are doing and the smile goes away.

We fall deeper and deeper in love with you every day my sweet pea.  Every day with you is my favorite day no matter what else has happened.

I love you so much it hurts baby doll...

Love,

Mommy

No extra credit awarded...

This one is going to be quick and dirty friends...kind of like a drive by blog.  But I just need to put this out into the universe.  People...please stop demanding credit for things you're supposed to do.  Let me give you some examples of things people say to justify their behavior that make me want to flip a table Real Housewives NJ style on them:

1. "I pay my child support."  Well whoop de doo!!!  Let's call the mayor and schedule a ticker tape parade for you STAT!!!  You're supposed to pay your child support guy/gal...and I would guess you're legally mandated to do so.  So don't go getting a stress injury while patting yourself on the back for this one. YOU.ARE.SUPPOSED.TO.PAY.YOUR.CHILD.SUPPORT!!!
2. "I've never been in jail." Well hot sauce...let's cancel Christmas!!!  And make sure you call ABC as I am positive they are going to want to get you signed up as the next Bachelor.  Guys like you are tough to find.  Ridiculous. You get no gold star for not going to jail.  YOU.ARE.SUPPOSED.TO.STAY.OUT.OF.JAIL!!!
3. "At least I'm not out there cheating."  Heh???  Well at least she didn't punch you in the face for just saying that. YOU.ARE.SUPPOSED.TO.BE.FAITHFUL.IN.YOUR.MARRIAGE!!! 
4. "I get up and go to work every day."  Yeah, see this is actually a pre-requisite for hiring you.  They actually assumed upon hire that you would be there to do your job...every day.  Isn't that something?  You're an adult...that means YOU.ARE.SUPPOSED.TO.GO.TO.WORK...EVERY.DAY!!!

Sorry for the rant...I'm a little unruly today.  The public annoys me on occasion.  Here's a picture of my peanut to ease the hostility of this post ;)

 Sure wish those thigh creases were as cute on her mama as they are on her!!!

Love ya'll!!!

Unanswered Prayers

I love when I can incorporate Garth Brooks lyrics into my posts.  It's like a precursor to awesomeness.  For those of you that are not aware...I have a slight case of "The Garth."  It is a highly contagious condition that may or may not cause you to attend 3 Garth Brooks concerts in 10 days and/or contemplate wearing a Garth Brooks t-shirt to work, where you are employed as a law clerk, to a judge, who has a serious job (i.e. judging). (*no Garth t-shirts were worn during the creating of this post or at anytime previous to the creation of this post.  However, the lure of sporting the Honky Tonk Bar Association concert T nearly got the best of me).

Wow...I have taken a serious left turn here.

OK.  So back to the actual point of this post.  This time of year I always thank God for all of his unanswered prayers.  I know that sounds silly and maybe a bit crazy, but the prayers that went unanswered nearly 9 years ago have proven to be the biggest blessings of my life.  For those of you that do not know me personally, or maybe do not know me well I will give you a bit of back ground. My marriage to Channing is my 2nd marriage.  I was married before, and that marriage ended in divorce in 2003.  I got married very young (23) and was completely unprepared for marriage.  I also picked the wrong man to be my husband.  Shocking that it didn't work out right???  Without rehashing all of the ugly details my first husband was unfaithful during our marriage.  But he had been unfaithful prior to our marriage and I married him anyway.  So I was not a victim...I knew full well what I was getting into.  But I was going to be the one to change him.  I was also planning to win the lottery.  I'm 0 for 2.

During the fall of 2001 we separated and I made it my goal in life to fix our marriage.  I was completely fixated and obsessed with us reconciling as I was not going to fail.  Did you catch that? "I" was not going to fail.  Meanwhile, he had several girlfriends and even got one pregnant (unbeknownst to me at the time), but by golly I was going to win this battle and I prayed fervently for our reconciliation day in and day out.  Eventually, in the Spring of 2002 he decided that he wanted to try and work things out and we reconciled.  Coincidentally, his epiphany happened after I had been accepted to law school.  I know people...I know.  I am shaking my head too.  The stupidity was at a level red (i.e. severe).

So that summer/fall we moved so that I could attend law school and he could work to put me through, just like I worked to put him through undergrad.  Two weeks into my first year of law school he came to me to tell me that he couldn't do it and wanted to move out.  His timing was impeccable.  I was devastated...but not shocked.  Mostly I was embarrassed that I had put myself and my family and loved ones through all of this when I had always known that he was not a good man.  I knew this time it was over...and I filed for divorce within days.  The divorce was final in January of 2003...and then, my real life began.

I have no idea what my life would be like had God answered my prayers in the way I wanted 9 years ago.  But I do know that because those prayers were unanswered I got to have this:

Law School trip to Ireland for 5 weeks

The most amazing lifetime friendships with my "lunch bunch" girls.

The opportunity to be the President of my law school class.

Graduated from law school and passed the bar exam.

Work for the federal government in New Orleans providing disaster relief after Katrina and meeting one of my besties Steph (they called us Thelma and Louise).

Meeting this guy...

Falling in love with above mentioned guy

Getting engaged

Getting married (I still can't believe he picked me to be his wife)

Getting this little message...

Experience this miracle

Meet the one who changed it all...

Experience a love I never knew existed.

Get to smile like this.

And this...

I get to be her mom.

And wake up to this every single morning.

Dear Lord,  Your path is better than my path.  You direction is better than my own.  The life you have for me is more than anything I could have ever dreamed of or asked for.  Thank you for loving me enough to leave some prayers unanswered. 

Your adoring child,

Steph

P.S.  Thank you for Garth Brooks too!!!

A very merry "un" birthday

Last year on this day at this time I was on the verge of a full on panic attack.  You see...I thought it would be a good idea to throw my husband a surprise party for his 30th birthday.  Before I knew it I was in the throws of dirty thirty party planning.  One day driving home from work I was having a serious discussion with myself in the car. It went a little something like this, "Ummm...I'm going to be 30 weeks pregnant on September 12th, that should be really attractive. NOT!!!"  (I've decided I'm bringing NOT back.  I'm also going to try and revive schwing...join me won't you?).  "Ummm...the party is being held in Little Rock, Arkansas.  Little Rock, Arkansas is 350 miles away from where we live. So how are you going to be able to do anything at all that involves planning said party?"  "Ummm...Channing's birthday is on October 16th for all that is good and holy why are you throwing him a 30th birthday on September 12th???"  "Ummm...can you please stop talking to yourself? As I am concerned that your short layover in Anxietyville is going to land you permanently in Crazytown."  I don't talk to myself anymore.  Myself is to sarcastic for my taste.

Anywho...all of the anxiety was for not as the party was planned and executed without a hitch.  It was one of the best nights of both of our lives and we will remember it for many years to come.  We had some good clean fun that night folks.  It was a casino night theme and the event planner I hired Heather Pile...was IN.CRED.I.BLE!!!  Like I said, I was in Dallas planning a party in Little Rock.  I never did anything but write the check and walk into the party.  She did everything...every i was dotted, every t was crossed.  I got Channing to the party that night by telling him it was a wedding reception for a friend of mine from law school that had gotten married in Mexico and Little Rock was her hometown.  Heather went so far as to create a fake invitation to the reception and mailed it to us in TX just to give the story that much more legitimacy!!!  How awesome is that?  Pretty flippin awesome is the answer.  If you are ever throwing an event in Little Rock, AR contact Heather Pile ...you will not regret it.

Join me on this stroll down memory lane on this the anniversary of my cute hubby's surprise "un"birthday party (the reason I planned the party for September 12th was because it was Arkansas' bye week and I knew more people would be able to come.  Why not throw it on his actual birthday you ask?  Well my husband thought he had a loser wife and friends that were not planning anything for his 30th birthday so he planned a Vegas trip with a few friends on the weekend of is real birthday...whoopsie daisies!!!)

Fake wedding invitation Heather made and sent to our home

Table cards

Center pieces

Grub table

Amazing poker table birthday cake

Need a closer look at that bad boy?  Here ya go...

Everyone waiting for the guest of honor

SURPRISE!!!  (It was pouring out...hence the wet shirt)

I could not believe everyone kept the secret a secret...especially this guy.  Channing's best friend Donovan ;)

Our friend Steph flew all the way in from Connecticut...she's special.  In an awesome kind of way, not a short bus kind of way.

Dale decided it would be a good idea to do his version of Vanilla Ice, "Ice Ice Baby."

Channing and John were his background dancers.  I was so embarrassed for them entertained by them.

Wow...

Good times ya'll...

Make a wish "un"birthday boy!!!

Everyone was getting their soul train on.

And then this happened.  It was awkward amazing!!!

I laughed until I thought I would go into premature labor that night.

And it was worth every penny to see this guy smile...

Happy anniversary of your "un" birthday babe. Love you...mean it!!!

Toodles...